Another day, another doughnut. Then again, I don’t eat doughnuts. One of the many unnecessary foods I gave up a long time ago. They’re disgusting. Between the sensation of all that sugar scumming my teeth and the way they sit in my stomach, I just can’t do it any more. Every once in the rare while I try again and remember why I “just say no.”
I feel the same way about fast food. I can’t eat it anymore. I’d rather eat an entire bag of parmesan Goldfish for dinner than shell out for Taco Bell. (And do. As recently as oh, an hour ago.)
I’ve been thinking about my surprising degree of confidence, as one of my friends put it. When we were out for our cast party I made some comment about “even if I am an ass sometimes,” and she responded, “It’s not that you’re an ass, you just have a mind boggling degree of confidence.” People shouldn’t say things like that to me. It goes to my head. -grins- More seriously, I wonder how much of that is confidence and how much of it is, as I’ve come to think of and recognize it over the last week, conviction. And what is the line between the two? Is confidence something that feeds conviction or is conviction more like faith, which doesn’t take confidence. Or does it? What is faith without confidence. Are faith and conviction any different? If so, are faith, conviction and confidence all part and parcel?
I do not have the answers. Apparently what I do have is confidence. And self-diagnosed conviction. It’s one of the flaws of being wrong so rarely. Another friend once said, “The problem with the fact that Morgan is right all the time is that he admits it when he’s wrong.” This probably should not have been said either. It definitely went to my head. And while my opinion may be biased, I don’t really think it’s far from the truth.
Before you snort in disgust and run off to read something else, hear me out. Instead of labeling me arrogant, listen. I think the most important thing to remember when discussing this tendency of mine to think I’m right is that I don’t think that what is right for me makes what you believe wrong for you. I may not understand your opinion. I may think you’re wrong. But I’ll respect your right to your opinion. I don’t have to respect your opinion, but I’ll certainly respect your right to it. There isn’t any one Truth.
Truth, it turns out, is based on perception and no one shares the same perception. Not even identical twins, who seem to share more than any other pair of individuals share the same perception. At some point, we all learn the meaning of a word differently. We all experience some situation that changes our perspective on that scenario for life. We make different choices. We skip church on a day when the sermon changes the life for another parishioner. We attend church on a day when the sermon changes our life and bores the fuck out of the last guy. It doesn’t matter what you believe. The only “Truth” is that each of us have our own truth.
It’s like expecting some kind of constant in your life. There IS one constant, but it’s not your wife, your brother, your friend, your mother, your job, your house, your kids, or the government. There’s one constant and that constant is CHANGE. All things change, and they do it a lot, day by day. As a wise man once said, “No man can step in the same river twice, for the second time it is not the same river and he is not the same man.” No matter what we do or who we were yesterday, who we were yesterday was not the person who went through today. And lives can change drastically in seconds.
Not quite a thousand words, goodnight.