Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Hodiernus Dies

“I can’t wait for fall,” she says. So does the cute meme picture on Facebook from that one group that loves walking through crunchy leaves. I love this. I love it when people have an appreciation for seasons that aren’t warm. I love stand collar pull-overs, track jackets, pea coats, red wine warming me from the inside out and flushing my cheeks, the fire roaring in the woodstove and its coals as it calms down from its initial, hungry tantrum. I love the chill in the air, the leaves turning the color of the inside of pirate’s treasure chests, and shuffling-walking-dancing balboa through the red-gold crinkle and tinkle of the sound of glass breaking without the destruction or pain.

“I’m ready for fall,” someone says. On one hand, a smile tucks itself into the corner of my mouth. On the other, my brow crinkles. I love autumn and winter, spring is nice, and summer, when it’s not too hot, is glorious. Today is summer though, and as much as my love for the ephemeral smiles in anticipation of leaves beneath my dancing feet, it loves the todayness of this August 28th. (And realize right this moment I’ll be 31 in exactly three months. Where did the year go? But that’s not today. That’s 31, three months from now.)

Fall is coming, but I’m ready for today. And tomorrow, and the next day. Summer, with summer suns and skies and storms. Sunsets and rises behind clouds and a star that seems determined to show off its rays this season. I don’t remember a year when they were as visible as frequently as they have been the last couple weeks. It’s beautiful, and I’m content with being here, now, today. I am happy with the flip flops and my brand new Vibram toe shoes that are, quite honestly, like hugs for my feet. Feet that needed hugs. Are they ugly? Probably, but at this point in my health, that’s okay.

When the weather turns, and eventually forces my frozen toes back into socks and shoes that protect them from the elements, I will be ready for that too. I’m ready for fall, but not in that “I’m not satisfied with what I have kind of way.” I’m ready for fall like I’m ready for rain, or sun, or snow, or cold, or heat. I’m ready for whatever the day brings. I’m ready for today, in this season, and any day. This is the day I’m in. This is the age I am. Today is the world I have and I’m going to seize it. This particular one I’m going to seize gentle, more of a cradle, really, and snuggle up comfortably to it with a contented sigh, as though it were a pillow. That’s the kind of today I’m feeling. Nugglesay Diem. Snuggle the day.

I’d love to hear someone say, just once, “I love pea coats and hot chocolate. But today is good too.”

Today is a reason for living.
-Our Lady Peace


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