Thursday, August 2, 2012

Adventures in Online Dating

I have been messing around with and e-harmony quite a bit recently, keeping my eyes open for potential encounters. I haven’t been getting out too much recently and as I have mentioned before, my options in the area are quite limited. Which is to say, the best way to meet women in Sandpoint is through the bar or church. I don’t really like the bar scene except socially with friends anyway, and I don’t attend church, nor intend to. I try to keep an open mind, but I have been burned too often dating religious women and I think it would simply be easier not to play with fire. I have faith in love. They seem to have more faith in their own self-righteousness than love, most of the time.

I briefly put my letter to Ella up as my profile, but in browsing the web researching how to do a better job I ran across It’s a small business ran by a copywriter, E, from who helps geeks find love via online dating. It encourages geeks to be themselves, and offers advice on how to present one’s geekness in a way that potentially could appeal to a non-geek willing to be tolerant of geekdom. She has a 100 page e-book called You Geek, They Grok or something like that. She had me at Grok. It’s $15 bucks, but I agree with the reviewer who said that it’s not only applicable to online dating, but to resumes and cover letters as well. If you are into online dating, whether you are a geek or not, I recommend it. While it is tailored toward geeks and often makes allusions to rolling twenty sided dice and making saving throws, (Dungeons & Dragons references), I think it is well written, easy to read, and the advice applicable to anyone with a profile, whether it is on Match or LinkedIn. 

If more people used the tools E offers, I think matches made online would skyrocket. I know that I encounter endless profiles that are so blah or mundane that I am not moved to email the lady, no matter how pretty I think she is. And I like pretty girls. I am glad you are a nice, down to earth, woman looking for Mr. Right or Prince Charming or a gentleman, but hey, so is Mary, Sue, Carry, and George. If the only thing you have going for you is a nicer smile, a trim figure, and more interesting plumbing than our friend George over there, than I’m going to keep looking. Maybe Sarah actually has something to say about herself. Let’s check out her profile:

Oh no!!! I'm putting out a World Wide Web bulletin to get everyone's help. You see, I've lost my smile. I'm not really myself without it. I have a couple leads that give me hope that it may have been found, including a vague description. He appears to be between 26 and 36 years old, but may act younger than his age? (fun not immature). He is at least 5'7" (I am 5’4”) not a slender man but doesn’t live at the gym either. He has relaxed/rustic looks with a down-to-earth attitude, values, and personality. He loves music and may be found at concerts. I have conflicting reports that he's either old-fashioned or romantic. He's intelligent with his own career and is goal oriented. Spontaneity and adventure is a given, in most situations. If this person can be found, I can offer a reward of lifetime devotion, long, slow kisses that last for days, midnight massages, a partner that loves to cook and doesn't mind sharing the household chores, someone to leave love notes, a shoulder to lean on, and someone who will hold you at night. If you think you may have found my smile, please e-mail me as I really need it to be myself. Thanks.

I love this. If she never emails me back, I will still have enjoyed reading her words. It was fun, engaging, and endearing. It was charming. I was charmed. Her words resonate with what I want, enjoy, am looking for myself. It isn’t a perfect match, but life isn’t. My beard is about as rustic as my look gets and my idea of relaxed is flip-flops, jeans and a plain t-shirt or button-up with the sleeves rolled up. For lifetime devotion, lifetime kisses and someone to cuddle? I could be happy with a woman who never wore a skirt or dress.

Sarah’s is one of a handful of profiles that I have ever seen with something truly interesting that awakens my imagination. One of the others is the reason I am even subscribed to Match right now, even though, sadly, she took her profile down. C’est la vie. While my subscription last, I will continue looking.

What do you think? If you’re in the online dating scene, would you be happier with more detailed profiles?

P.S. If you’re on my friend’s list and want to check out my profile and tell me what you think (and point out whether or not the pictures I chose should stay or go), let me know and I will leave you a private message with my Match username.

And 877 words, goodnight.


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